Cracked My First Homebrew

(if you don't like tasty brews don't bother reading)

The first carbonated one at least. For the last two months I've had roughly 9 gallons of beer fermenting and getting all happy in one of my closets, and about 2-3 weeks ago Britton and I bottled it up.

My first batch was an IPA and the second a brown ale. Now the IPA was based off of someone else' recipe, but the brown ale was my own from scratch. I wanted to dive right into making my own. The way I see it, if you only brew off of others' recipes, it's like being in a band and only playing cover songs; it might sound good and have stage presence, but you ain't too original now is you?

Flavor wise, the brown ale is exactly what I was going for. The only change I'll make is to add a little more body and up the alcohol a little - it clocked in around 4.3%, just under what I wanted.

I've got another few gallons of a new pale ale in the closet, another recipe I came up with. I figure that within a few more batches, I'll be making world class tasty beverages.

The homebrewing community is a collection of many interesting people. Despite my limited experience, I've tried my best to narrow it down into three main categories:

1. The kind of guy who brews beer (and does whatever else he does) between rounds of world of warcraft.

2. 42-48 year old males who refer to their wives as 'the old lady.' They wear tshirts tucked into very light colored jeans, big sneakers, and are often named Larry or Barry.

3. 25-29 year old males who answer "right on" to just about anything you say to them.

Good people regardless of demographics and what they choose to do in their spare time. Not sure where I fall into the mix, but I don't really care. I just like learning how to do stuff. Right on.

On a side note, had an awesome Christmas--spent about a week and a half up in PA with the fam and Jensen came up for a few days as well. Heading to Carolina beach in the AM---supposed to be 67 on New Years day, and hopefully we'll get some waves..

Hiatus '10

This November's beach trip was a good one. Like last year, it lasted about a week and a half- I wanted to stay but had to make it back to Raleigh before driving up to PA for Thanksgiving.

When I first got to the Outer Banks, there had been another Nor'easter that decided to set up shop off the coast. Fortunately there wasn't any rain, but there was a lot of wind, and at one point the ocean was hurling 15-20 footers, and it wasn't clean at all. Even if it was clean, hauling my 9'2 out there would be the equivalent of making out with a revolver.

The wind was blowing 25-35 and it was a little chilly because of that, but it almost felt good for some reason. Maybe because the air smelled clean, like salt, instead of exhaust.

And just as I like it, an empty beach. The color in this picture is a perfect depiction of stormy, fall obx weather:





I wasn't complaining about the windy, overcast weather because I pretty much had to work the entire time - we're busier than hell, which is also awesome.





Britton came down for part of the time to do work from here, too, so it was oyster time. The shack down the road has the best oysters I've ever had. They're referred to as crab slough oysters, which are picked about 10 miles down the road near the Oregon Inlet. Because they come from brackish water, they're really salty, and sweet. Also, about half them have tiny little pea crabs in them. You can pick them out or eat them- apparently they're considered a delicacy. I bit into one accidentally but threw him out instead of eating him; I don't know if I can get down with that. Since I'm interested in about everything in the world, I looked them up and learned that they are the smallest species of crabs known on the planet. On top of that, it turns out that they are also a pain in the ass to the oysters, since they eat the same food the oyster does.

Since I'm a nice guy, when I find these little turds who make life harder for my delicious oysters, I don't kill them- I'm all about second chances (Mike Vick is my quarterback). I place them on the counter top and play a game called "whoever makes it to the ocean lives." None of them have made it yet, but at least they get a shot. This year, we lined a few of them up on the counter in front of one another to see if they'd fight. Sure enough, a scuffle followed.




It's funny watching them fight, since they pretty much move in slow motion. I had my money on the guy on the far left, but the guy he was fighting scored a take down early on, so that was reason enough to feed all of them to the dogs.

This was the kind of thing we had to resort to, since fishing was out of the question due to water and weather. I was a little bummed out about that. Britton and I had a few bottles of scotch ready. Considering our natural fishing prowess, experience, and ability, combined, I figure we really only had about a 3% chance of actually catching something. Everyone knows that drinking scotch while fishing would take it to somewhere between 6 and 7%. Oh well.

Jack was happier than a pig in shit, since the beaches were wide open to run.
















Jensen came down late in the week, and over the weekend some friends, Brittany and Jeremy came down as well. For the last stretch of the trip, it was just me there. The weather shaped up a bit, and every evening around 4:30, like last year, you could catch a pretty mean view from the back porch. Since there aren't many tall trees, you get a clear view of the sky, which is painted all sorts of colors by the sunset.





Since I had only a few days left and was bombarded with conference calls all day, the weather cleared up and the ocean calmed down. I spent a few days alone with the dog, and really didn't want to leave. There's something that fascinates me about the solitude of being out there alone and I can't quite figure it out.

When I was on my last few conference calls before hitting the road, everything being packed up, I had to stare helplessly at the ocean doing what it does best in the fall: 3-4 foot, clean, peeling waves. It was as if the ocean was taunting me, and I had no time to suit up and paddle out. I would've done anything to have had another few hours to catch a few of them, sit out there, maybe sing to myself. I literally left with a lump in my throat. To make matters worse, my friend Dooley called and said he was down in Rodanthe to surf for a few days. I haven't seen him in about 4 years now, but couldn't meet up because I had to hit the road.

I kept complaining to Jack that I didn't want to leave. He doesn't speak English, and I don't speak dog, but I'm pretty sure we were on the same page.

Bummer.



It's little trips like these that I live for. Leaving is always a little bittersweet, but it's almost Thanksgiving and I can't wait to get back home for a little to see the friends and fam.

My Own Beer

I've been looking into brewing my own beer for almost a year now, and after digging through craigs list for a while, I pulled the trigger on some equipment last week. Three days later (this weekend) I brewed my first batch--an IPA. I made about 5 gallons of it, which will give over two and a half cases of beer, roughly. I won't know how it turns out for another 3-5 weeks, so we'll see, but I can say it tasted pretty delicious before going into the carboy to ferment.

Anyway I'm like a little kid with this stuff already. I've already made my own recipe for a brown ale that I plan on getting going this weekend before I head to the beach. I've also been cruising the online forums to learn more about the process. These people in the brewing community are like mad scientists, talking about measurements and percentages and chemical reactions. Another funny aspect of it all is that if you go to google videos and look for some how-to vids, you'll notice that about 80% of the guys in the videos look like the type you wouldn't allow within 100 feet of your kids on the playground.

Anyway I plan on getting another few gallons racked away to do their thing over the next few weeks while I'm on the coast with some good friends and the Jackson dog.

New York City

I haven't written anything in a long time- like everyone else on the planet I've been really busy.

Wedding season has come to a close for Jensen and me this year. We've been to approximately a thousand weddings starting back in the spring, and the grand finale was one of Jensen's sorority sisters' weddings in Brooklyn, NY.

Now I've never been to New York City accept when I was 12- I got to explore the city back then for 15 minutes or so i.e. buy a genuine, high quality rolex for $15 and eat a slice of pizza. Pretty awesome for a kid huh? Well it was immediately ruined by having to sit through a 3 hour musical. Now I could probably get down with a play once in a while, but musicals are number two on my list of most hated things in the world, sitting right behind number one, parades.

But that's beside the point; this time was much different. Contrary to what my expectations were going in, turns out I liked it a lot. Mattafack, I loved me some New York City.

The first night we were there was the rehearsal dinner (Jensen was a bridesmaid) and all kinds of drinking. The second day the girls had to get together 6 hours before the wedding for 6 hours of hair and makeup, so I set out to meet the two other guys we were with, who were staying in a hotel in another part of Brooklyn. The hotel calls a cab service when you need to go somewhere, so I hopped in and gave this lady the address--something something 3rd street. I must've forgot to specify Brooklyn because a half hour later we were stopped at what we thought was the address but there wasn't a Super 8--I read the address again and she said "honey we are in Manhattan." So I guess you need to specify the borough, too (I don't know how this shit works, I'm from Collegeville, PA).

My screw up ended up taking me all around the city and getting a tour from Ramona, my cab driver. Turns out she's half Dominican, half chinese, and has been cabbing it for 23 years. I learned about the different sections of the city and her family and the struggles everyone 'cept the rich folks are going through. She explained that property taxes and insurance for running a business are almost impossible now, and people who have been open for more than 40 years are closing their doors. Insurance alone for a dry cleaning business can get upwards of 16k per month, when it used to be $350 - ouch. She was only referring to China Town. I can't imagine what it would run in the other parts. Makes you wonder what's gonna happen to the entire town when everything get's that pricey. The rest of the trip I kept trying to figure out how some kind of a frozen yogurt shop could ever stay open on Broadway, and exciting things like that.

So after my tour (which thankfully only cost me 25 bones) I made it all the way back and met up with the guys for food and beverage. The wedding was awesome, and the day after that was awesome, too.

One thing I noticed was that there are a lot of funny, actually pretty friendly people...not just the assholes you hear about- but there are a good number of them, too. It's a good place to go if you need to blow off steam and are tired of being friendly. I think some people there are so brash because they're expecting to get it anyway in return. I held the door for some lady and she looked at me like I was St. Peter. It was cool seeing all the different types of people there, and if get tired of one scene, you just go to another part of town.

I was thinking that big cities would have more superficial people, but it seemed to be quite the opposite. Everyone is in too much of a hurry, or too stressed to really give a shit about anyone else. I could have had a green monkey sitting on my shoulder the entire trip and maybe gotten one or two double takes.

But yeah, I loved the place, and would love to go back once in a while, so if anyone's ever down for it (and i've got the money), I'm all for it.


Almost hiatus.

Today Just Screams Fall

I've had to fix a bunch of stuff around the house lately, and today I patched up the approximately 1000 dings on my surf board...only 7-8 years overdue. It's 75 and cloudy today, but for the most part it was the half-assed cloudy, where the sun's actually peaking out for most of the day, but you don't really notice it. Anyway it got me thinking that I'm ready for the fall.

And with the fall comes my hiatus, which I can't wait for. I pretty much disappear off the face of the planet and head to the Outer Banks for a while. Last year it was for about a week and a half, the second half was nature's choice, not mine; a huge nor'easter came through and trapped me there when I was about to leave. A few people came down on the first weekend with me, but Jack and I stuck around for the rest of the time.

It's dead quiet there in the off season. I work throughout the day, which means I'm on the phone all day, but other than that, I don't really have much contact with anyone else. I don't even turn on the TV while I'm there. Every evening, I sit on the back porch with Jack, my guitar, sometimes a beer. It's therapeutic. This was my view last year, sans sunset due to the weather at the time:




Here are the outer edges of the huge storm starting to roll in over the water. It was dead calm when I took this, but what came after were sheets of rain and constant 50+ mph winds for 3 days:


The house was shaking from the winds, rains pounding all of the windows, water coming in through the window and door sealing, and I kept my eye on the dune in the case that the water made it over, which would mean that it's time to get the hell outta there. Here's what Jack thought of the chaos:




There's something that fascinates me about the Outer Banks in the off-season. The place is almost eerie when all the crowds leave and everything is still. It's is a barrier island, subject to heavy erosion. What intrigues me the most about the island is that it's the one place I've seen in my lifetime where you can witness mother nature actually winning the battle with man--it's humbling in a way. What used to be dunes and houses just a few years ago is now ocean again. Every major storm that comes through, including last year's nor'easter, takes a few houses with it on its way out.

I'll be heading out again within the next month and a half, most likely early November, when the weather is still bearable. The Jack Dog will be in heaven--cool weather and a beach with no people means no leash. He's gonna be running huge circles in and out of the water.

I'll be sure to eat oysters and take pictures.

Disregard this if you didn't go to college with me.

But if you did...................















Ladies and Gentlemen, Pat McCauley.

West Virginia

Whenever I drive up to Pittsburgh to spend a few days with coworkers, I look forward to driving through West Virginia. Lately I've been making sure to stop at New River Gorge. It's that big bridge you see on the back of West Virginia quarters. The thing stands 900 feet above the river; think about that for a second.

Sure it's touristy, but it's a pretty awesome place. When you stand at the overlook, vultures are riding the thermals at eye level. It's best on a windy day- the only thing you can hear are gusts of air, and if you are lucky, a few local rednecks mumbling. It's got a kind of feeling to it that's hard to describe; almost sacred. It's the kind of place that makes me wonder what everything was like before modern civilization.


Once a year, people who have more balls than me take part in Bridge Day. This is the one day a year when you are allowed to base jump off the bridge. I'm good with jumping out of airplanes, but I had some lunatic strapped to my back and a reserve set on auto deploy in the case that he or both of us were unconscious. Not the case on Bridge Day; my guess is that on Bridge Day, reserves are weak sauce.

Anyway check it out if you pass through; it's worth a 15 min break from a long haul.

So listen up people. It's quick stops like this that make me think about the last year and a half of my life, and I've got something to say about it. Because of the nature of what I'm doing in my career, I don't make boat loads of money quite yet. In fact, there have been many times where I've barely been able to make ends meet, and if you haven't been there before, it's more stressful than you can imagine. But at the same time, I've never had more freedom or learned more about myself and other people than I have since the beginning of '09. Before that, I was working in a job where I didn't even realize I was unhappy until I quit. I may have liked most of my coworkers and made decent money, but I was in a rat race and lacking one thing: Hope. The only thing I ever had to look forward to were weekends and holidays.

If you are in a job that doesn't satisfy you, for your sake and others around you, look elsewhere. When I did, I realized that without that hope or satisfaction, I just hadn't been myself. I almost felt the need to apologize to friends and others who were around me during that time. I don't expect this to inspire anyone to take action, but if it does, good.

Amazing what some bridge in East BF, West Virginia, can do to someone.

Just Saw a Great License Plate

Yesterday on Walnut Street I was swinging back from grabbing a movie and stopped at a red light. In front of me was a tan Chevy Silverado. I was waiting for the light to change and just looking around, when my eyes took me to this guy's license plate. Between where his plate said North Carolina and First in Flight, in great big blue letters, was:

DNKYPNCH

Clearly the DMV isn't up to speed on foul humor. The driver looked like a normal, middle aged guy. He either lost a bet or really doesn't give a shit...either way it's hilarious.

Unfortunately, I don't have any photo proof. My cell phone is old school and the picture I tried to take didn't turn out.

Pigeons Shit on Kings of Leon!

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Music/07/24/kings.of.leon.pigeons/index.html?hpt=T2

I just read a quick story about the Kings of Leon being forced off stage because a bunch of pigeons were shitting on them from the rafters. Comes to show that pigeons may be much smarter than we ever thought! Well, at least we now know they don't like terrible music. Cheers!

You Can Name Private Roads

One of our friends Corbin had a shrimp boil last weekend in Wendell (pronounced "Windle"), NC, outside of Raleigh town.
I've been through Windle before to buy my pool table off some dude on craigs list, and I can tell you that as far as I've seen, there are parts that earn the designation of special.

Anyway, I've learned that if you live on a private road, just you, you've got the right to name your road, and I guess within certain boundaries, the man can't do a damn thing about it.

That being said, Jensen and I got lost and came across one of life's little gems. On the way home I had to snap a shot of this road name. I beg of you, PLEASE try to find a better one; that's a challenge.

Gentlemen, J-Town Still Stands

Those who didn't go to school with me need not read this first part.



Recognize this house?

We had to go to a wedding in Burlington this weekend, so a quick detour to check out J-Town, our house during senior year of college, was a given. It got it's name J-town because of the simple fact that it's so J.

Allow me to give you a quick outdoor-guided tour of the place.

Right under the front porch window is where you would've seen a black couch a few years ago. I can't be sure, but I can only guess the couch was originally brought into town by Pat McCauly. Without exaggeration, it was literally the ugliest and most uncomfortable couch I've ever seen or sat on, and will likely remain champion forever, or until I die, whichever comes first. Pat, if you read this, I always wanted to know--what made you pull the trigger on that couch, and not whichever one was sitting next to it at the furniture store? Sure it served it's purpose, but I don't think I would've taken it if someone paid me what was on the price tag.
Right behind that window is where you would've seen the indoor couch that was broken and fallen into itself on it's left side. The window with the maroon shutters was Cory's (Babe #1's). That was his layer where he'd spend countless hours talking to babe #2 with the door shut. Right behind the roof shingles above the front porch you'd find my room: the uninsulated attic. Far too hot in the summer and early fall, far too cold in the winter. Juuuust right in late October and early November. The only place I could stand up without hitting my head was in the middle of the room. Getting there required climbing a ladder, the bottom of which was in Pat's room, which became Dooley's room half way through the year.

You can't really see it in much detail, but the giant tree coming up over the right chimney was the walnut tree that we all parked under. We hadn't put two and two together to figure out that it was the walnuts falling that put all the dents in our cars. Pat figured it out after a cracked windshield. The insurance claim agent came out and assessed it, and he got a new windshield. No less than two weeks later, Pat parked under the tree again. The tree saw a brand new windshield under it and aimed, fired, and delivered. This time, insurance decided not to pay for it.

Finally, though you can't see it, the backyard is where Darren took a dirt nap on a cornhole board in the pouring rain, while Owen and I stood on the back deck with an umbrella, seeing who could peg him the most number of beers.


Standing in lieu of the hideous couch:
The wedding was a good time; it was in Mebane, and with that comes some pretty special perks. For one, it was the first time I had ice cold Natty lights at a reception. Secondly, I started eating what I thought was a piece of beef wrapped in bacon, only to learn that they were chicken livers. I convinced a few others that they were in fact beef, and they nearly threw up after trying them. That's Grant 1; the others 0.

Here's Jensen and I for good measure, and she looks awesome.

Checking in...

Haven't done much blog wise lately. It's wedding season- between May and June we've got 4 weddings to go to. Currently two down and two to go. I've been way too busy with terrible things like open bars and good food. Life will soon return to normalcy and I'm gonna get some quality beach time in July - Carolina Beach / Kure Beach over the 4th for a long weekend and I should be in the Outer Banks two weeks later; parents are gonna be at the place and I'm making sure I will be too.

I'm really excited about the idea of surfing sans wetsuit in some warm water. This is how the waves usually look in the Outer Banks during the summer time:



Awesome!






I'm happy as long as the waves are big enough to ride. As you can see, Fort Fisher is the choice location for barrels at Carolina Beach, south of Wilmington. Here's Corbin taking on a world record:











I figured out if you kneel down really far, just about any wave can be shoulder high, including this beast...I barely made the drop:











And the Jack dog ensuring the safety of all swimmers:













Speaking of Jack, in case you didn't know, he sleeps in my shower. That's right, he crawls into the shower and lays down every night. If the shower door is shut, he'll stand there with his head against the door and whine. When he sleeps upside down, his snoring sounds really weird - the first time I heard it, I stumbled out of bed around 3AM, flicked on the bathroom light, and this is what I saw:

Bros Icing Bros

This one courtesy of Owen -

I can't stop laughing at this. Apparently the new phenomenon is "Bros Icing Bros." Icing is when you present one of your friends (bros) with a Smirnoff Ice- they have to drop to one knee and slam it, no matter where they are or what they're doing.

Now if you are iced by some bro, and you happen to have an ice on you at the time, you can present it to them; this is an "ice block." If you ice block someone, they have to drop to one knee and take down both ices on the spot. No matter what.

Yeah, this is sort of fratty, but it's not wearing shorts shorts, croakies at night, or a Jay Cutler haircut.

It's hilarious because for one, Smirnoff ice is pretty much disgusting; imagine icing one of your bros with a warm, 24 oz Apple smirnoff, and him having to shame his name in public by dropping to a knee and taking it down. Or better yet, one of your hot shot bros ices you and you've got one on you already, ice block him, and he's gotta take both of them down. A game is a game.

Check out the links below and enjoy the scenarios- and hurry up - once it takes off mainstream it won't be as funny..

http://www.theawl.com/2010/05/guest-op-ed-why-bros-get-iced-bro

http://dealbreaker.com/2010/05/not-even-goldman-sachs-immune-from-taking-part-in-icing-phenom/#more-21291

Have you ever met a Neil who you actually liked?

Nope neither have I.

Some Towns Should Change their Names

Just found my favorite new town name.

Last week, a few of my coworkers and I embarked on a road trip that took me from Raleigh to Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh to White Plains, NY where we had a 3 day meeting, then up to Burlington, Vermont. I had a good time and finally got to see Vermont - which was awesome. Ended up taking a ferry across part of one of their huge lakes and drove through the mountains for a few hours on the way back. Getting into Vermont at night, we would drive nearly 20 minutes at several points without even seeing a light.

Anyway we passed through Pennsylvania from about 11PM-3AM on the last leg of the trip back to Pittsburgh. Now Pennsylvania, as you may know, has some pretty special town names.

Honorable mentions include Intercourse PA, Frackville PA (compliments of Nicole), Paradise PA (which makes the honorable mention because of the name and the fact that it's dead smack in the middle of Amish country.

My new favorite is town name, though, by a huge margin, is Shartlesville, PA. Shartlesville. It's either my ability to find humor in just about anything, my maturity level, or the fact that we'd been driving for 12 hours when we passed through the town, or maybe a combination of all of those things. That's just hilarious though. If I were mayor of Shartlesville, or anyone who had the power to do so, I'd have changed the name once urban dictionary or this movie came out.

Fruity Drinks are OK if at the Beach

Pretty much just had one of the most fun weekends I can remember. For some reason, some of my college friends and I waited almost 4 years to get back together for the first time. We headed to Nags Head. It was Owen coming in from NYC, Corey (Blake/Babe #1/Ehhhh) coming in from Chicago, Robert coming in from Baltimore, and the Salty Donkey from DC or Baltimore, or wherever he lives now. Dooley Show and the Pat Monster were there in spirit. Actually more than that with all of that "what up chiefs" and Pat stories.

Anyway between all of the beer die, grilling, cards on the back deck, several thousand Busch Lights, a cheese slam (don't ask), tumbles down steps, and several pukings in a Wings parking lot (classy), were banana daiqiries (sp?). Never had one before.

Once in a while life throws you a little gem; in this case, Scott Owen threw one.

Ingredients per batch:

6 Bananas
~9 oz light rum
3 tbs Triple Sec
Lime Juice
Ice
Floater of Goslings rum on top (just enough to push you over the edge). Forego the lime wedge unless you're propping your dignity on the edge of the glass with it.

Just get yourself a constant flow of these all day and cap it all off with some reebs. I can't believe we were actually wondering why none of us could remember eating dinner that night.





There's definitely not enough dude in this hot tub.






Poor planning for the ride home left Corey in the back seat of a Subaru with an acoustic guitar and a 140lb Newfoundland dog.







Here's Darren with perma-grin on cruise control. In this picture, his subconscious sees cards, a table, and a drink in front of him, but his conscious really has no idea what's going on.
For some reason, Friday, he flew to Raleigh from B-more, rented a car, then drove from Raleigh to OBX. Sunday he did it all over again. He did make light of only being there for 36 hours or so by appropriately cracking his first brew circa 9:30AM. Respek.


I'm hoping we'll be able to do these weekends once or twice a year, if my body can handle it. I thought it was appropriate that I had a fever my first night back, especially since fevers are just your body's way of telling you something is wrong. I'm having trouble figuring out if the wrong part was what I had done to myself all weekend or just the fact that the real world was calling again. RDoug actually gained 6 pounds over the course of those 3 1/2 days--impressive.

All in all, it was great to see these guys and to see that they're all successful and enjoying life.

Have you seen this man?

This dude looks EXACTLY like me, but he's got this awesome mustache. My buddy Tommy sent it to me. It was the first time in my life I've ever seen someone and really thought, "wow, that guy looks like me." My friend Justin said he was thinking about putting the picture on a t-shirt.

Anyway apparently he's down in Atlanta somewhere, so I'm thinking about heading down that way just to steal his stache, since I'm starting to realize that I'd never be able to grow something that awesome on my face. Either that or put a bounty on his head, because if he ever decides to take it to another level of awesome and grow the handlebar, I'm worried my girlfriend Jensen will leave me and jump the tracks for Atlanta.

Let's see a comparison:

Me










Him

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

A little venting and a little appreciation coming.

What should we start with first, the positive or the negative?

I'll get the negative out of the way, since when I decided to start a blog, I vowed it wouldn't be to vent on what's been bothering me. I've been stressed trying to make ends meet lately and that just amplifies the little things.

If you've been living on earth for any amount of time in the past few years, you'll have noticed the massive divide this country has experienced; people downright hate each other sometimes simply because of political views.

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I read an interview that Larry King did with Jesse Ventura, the former pro wrestler and Minnesota governor. The guy has always seemed pretty much off his rocker, but to me, he seems like the most sane one of all right now. Larry King was pointing out that recent polls (usually garbage, but still) suggest that the country is more divided on Obama than any other president in history. At this point, Ventura tried to hold his laughter back and pointed out that it's not because of Obama or what he's doing, it's because of the two major political parties; they both put their parties ahead of the country and the people. This major divide, based on the concern of being re-elected, is magnified by the media, who are also biased, then down to all of us, who take it and run with it.

That being said, I'll tell you what the country's biggest problems are right now; no, it's not Obama or his big spending plan, and it's not George W., or the wars.

1) Sarah Palin - F saving the best for last. Dare I speak boldly: If you support her as a politician, you immediately lose all credibility in any discussion. Stop arguing with people about politics. She's just a political puppet doing and saying anything she feels will win the votes from the Right. In case she hadn't blown all credibility when McCain was running for office, she gets caught with her speech points written on her hand - that's not the point though- the point is her response, quoting the bible, saying that God wrote on his hand too, so she's in good company. Score a few more votes from the religious right there. Don't get me wrong- I'm a believer, but I don't think I want someone like her in any position of power. In fact, we should consider having her committed. I feel that the leader of the free world should be charismatic, but they don't have to be. I feel that they should be engaging, but they don't have to be. They damn-well better be intelligent, though. And her little Tea Party can go with her. I don't like getting taxed either, but it's life, and when you blame immigrants for all of your problems, you've got much bigger issues. These people are blind extremists. If they're so stuck on the constitution, where were they when the Patriot Act hit? My advice to them: get a job, sir! (what movie?). New book out, new program on fox - good businesswoman, it's just a shame so many people eat it up.

2) Fox News and CNN: Fox admitted they were biased. Not sure if CNN has yet, but they both pump out biased news 24hrs/day and most of us buy every second of it, and it shapes our opinions of politics and our fellow citizens whether we realize it or not. What does this lead to? Cubicle arguments, cheese-dick name calling like "hippie democrat" or "asshole conservative." Bring media outlets like Facebook into it and we've got a giant mess of the ill-advised hating on each other. Again, good businesspeople though- what are they gonna say, "Nothing to report on today- please get your news elsewhere."

3) Rush Limbaugh: It's not worth me typing more than a sentence or two about this disgusting blob of an oxygen-waster. No one can truly believe all that he talks about, including him; but I won't say he's a bad businessman- I hear he made over $30 mil last year. You are nuts if you support this guy. I won't call you stupid, but that's just out of respect.

4) Stereotypical Far-Left guy: Stereotypical far-left guy blames George W. Bush for everything, loves Obama unconditionally regardless of any issues, and votes for change for the sake of change. Usually bases his argument on the environment, global warming, hating George Bush, the Iraq war, etc.

5) Stereotypical Far-Right guy: Takes the stance of being an 'economist,' finds any reason to complain about Obama and his spending plan, loves George W. Bush unconditionally (forgetting about Bush's astronomical spending), and always longs to somehow bring Ronald Reagan back, even if only for a second, just once, just to see how it feels. Stereotypical far-right guy usually bases his argument on one or more of the following: welfare, paying for those who don't work as hard as them, the word "socialism", religion (btw if the right is so against abortion because it is "playing God", why are they so for the death penalty?).

I'm finding it harder and harder to have political views these days. I think many of the above issues are important, I just don't expect any of them to be considered fairly by any politician out there.

But I won't complain without offering a solution, so here's mine: Vote every major politician out of office. Bring in a new crowd, and tell this new crowd that if they pull the same partisan games, that they'll be gone too.


Enough with the bad stuff, let's move onto what keeps me going, and I think you should consider trying it too.

Sunsets: cliche huh? Well we're all living life too chaotically, including me. How many days of the week do you get done and say "Where did my day go?" Happens a lot. I've been making a point to check out a good sunset, even if only for a minute or two, every day. Believe it or not, they happen every day, regardless of what we're doing. It's been a good reminder to me that today happened. Throw in a tasty brew and a good friend / significant other and you've got it made. I'm telling you, Rednecks made this popular, and in many cases, they know what the hell they're doing.

Budweiser while playing golf: Nothing completes a bucket of golf balls or round of golf with a bud deisel, or a few of them. I've been trying to figure out why it's the best golf beer for a while and still can't. It's either something coming through the can from your golf glove or something in the air on the golf course that gets in your beer and makes it magical. Either way, it's definitely not psychological. It has to be in a can, too. Forgot to mention that.

Random people who smile and say hello: not the pedophile kind, but just friendly people you pass on the street or at the store. I think it's common decency to do this when two people passing make eye contact. Shit, life isn't THAT bad that you can't do this, is it?

Blue cheese: That's right. Pass the moldy stuff. I haven't tried this and don't plan on it, but you could put blue cheese on a dog turd and it would probably taste good. I stop trusting people a little bit when the waiter/waitress asks if they want ranch or blue cheese and they go ranch. Not sure why.


The ocean /surfing: Another cliche one here. Waves, like sunsets, happen every day, no matter what chaos is happening in our lives. If you are lucky, once in a while you get out a waxed up board and slide down the line. I'd take being out in the line up with a friend or two over just about anything in the world.








Ahh I feel much better.

Cuddly Little Bears and Snuggly Wuggly Little Whales

I think (hope) we all learned something. Earlier this week, a SeaWorld trainer was dragged under water and drowned by a killer whale. Needless to say, it's all over the news. My thoughts to the trainer and her family, but I hope all of this doesn't drag on and on.

One thing that amazes me is how shocked everyone is about this incident. I started thinking about why this is making such huge headlines. When it comes down to it, it's how we portray killer whales--gentle, Disney animals who welcome little kids to the stage during their shows, with their great big smiles. Basically we've forgotten the fact that they are powerful, voracious predators in the wild. Predators who are used to swimming up to 100 nautical (140 land miles) per day, not a few circles in a tank.

There have been many incidents of lions, bears, elephants attacking and even killing trainers, but they haven't quite made the cuddly wuddly list yet-- even though, in their respective environments, are just as ferocious as our friend the orca. That's why we haven't heard all the hype about those incidents.

Lastly, I understand Seaworld is in the business of doing business, but they've decided to continue working with Tiliku, the whale who retired the trainer and sent her delivering mail to groundhogs. That part I don't understand. At least throw the thing back in the ocean. And if you'd rather have the beast performing for kiddies in the future, don't make a big deal if Tiliku decides to have another bad day and another breath-holding contest with a human.

In case you aren't yet convinced, the same whale had previously been involved in 2 other deaths.

And before you go there, don't confuse me with PETA- those people are crazy. But before you let the news stories shatter your childhood image of Shamu, just thinking about the whole thing logically.